As I look back on my experience as an Alzheimer's and Dementia caregiver...I remember all the people Ive learned from , laughed with, cried with. The people that make me remember why I do this job in the first place.
There will always be the angry one...I envision a man who takes his bible to the back of his caregivers head...The anxious one...Shes wandering with a constant look of fear on her face. The one who believes she is an employee..."I work my ass off for you people, give me a day off for Christ Sakes!"...Theres the one who is confined to her bed, her eyes never open, she does speak a word, yet she is on 3mls of Haldol 3x a day. Theres the man who can no longer tell the difference in his little pal, his cat...that he is throughly convinced and calls it "damn dog" day in and day out. The one that never fails to make you smile...Ill never forget pulling a pink felt pen from the depths of one womans depends.."Im saving it for later to draw a picture for my husband." I remember the one who no longer had an arm, it was severed in the line of fire when he was a soldier in the war.The one who cant understand a damn thing youre saying, but FEELS you and acts merely off of that.
The Titanic survivor who was placed in the 3rd boat out with her mother...and her father left behind to go down with the ship. An original player of the San Francisco 49ers..I suppose too many blows to the head left him a little confused..And then there was the man who had not a clue how to feed himself, get dressed or swallow his pills. He was young..diagnosed with Alzheimers at the fragile age of 26..He was never married, never had been blessed with children. There was one who was brilliantly gifted with music..Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaichovsky..and had an amazing smile..He was very modest, constantly ill man and a hospice patient for as long as I could remember. He wasnt ready to die. And Ill never forget the night he told me that he would not take his morphine, for he would let God take him as he willed without anypain medication to numb him.
The reason why I live where I do today, the reason why I live my life as I am now...chasing my dreams and riding a shooting star to the moon, why I believe that true love does exist and that Ill find it one day, I can thank a married couple for...They were married 70 years young and the husband opened doors, pulled his wifes chair out for her, held her hand, ordered her food, kissed her every chance he got...right up until the week before he passed away. I cared for them on 3rd shift and became lost in thier fairy tale right along with them. He used to tell me he knew from the moment he first met her that he was going to marry her one day. They had never been with anyone else and never wanted anything more then to live, love, laugh thier lives away together.
They never knew why I was there, caring for them every night with everything that I had, answering thier pendent calls on the first ring, assisting them with anything they needed from pain medications, to the one night he fell, trips to the bathroom, warm milk and a friend, or simply to sit in the dark holding the wifes hand and talking in the hours before her husband slipped from this world.While changing his linens of his hospice bed late one evening, he told me to get out and do things in my life while I still could. That theres a great big world out there waiting to be discovered. But that I would never know of all the wonderful things it had to offer if I didnt go out searching for them. He wondered why I was engaged to someone who he knew didnt treat me the best...he could see it in my eyes...He urged me to go somewhere, anywhere to see things in a different light...I just stared into his glassy blue eyes and smiled. People in your life will always tell you to live life to the fullest...But no one ever had said it to me that hit me quite like when he told me.It was a moment I will never forget.
The next day, he passed away in his sleep. It turned my world upside down, I cried for days. I visited his wife on my days off, I emotionally checked out from the other relationships in my life and couldnt think of anything except for the man who had told me to run...and just a week later, I booked a flight and moved across country to start my life over the "right way". I carry his words and his wifes with me everyday and though he is gone now, I believe he is watching over me and is guiding me in every step I take.
I thank him for that immensly. And I miss him. And pray for him and for his wife who has outlived him and I hear she is doing well. We all thought she would have died right along with him shortly after..but she tells my former coworkers,, "He wouldnt want me to..were still together..hes still my husband and I am still his wife. And I talk to him every night and every morning. I see him in my dreams and he is waiting for me on a white bench. Ill see him soon, but not now. Theres still more to see." And she still gossips with the other catty women...she still participates in activities, goes on outings, she visits her beautiful angelic looking daughters and grandchildren..Her life has not stopped merely because her soul mate has gone on to the other side. That, my friends, is true love.
dreamy...
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